Breakfast Topic: Romantic entanglements have a Mass Effect
by Dominic Hobbs 
Apr 1st 2010 at 8:00AM
When Commander Shepard isn't stripping planets of all their resources or being a general galactic bad-ass, how better to whittle away the hours than getting to know the crew. Sure, most of them are only there because you pushed them into it, and they're not going to be happy about things until they sort out that "unfinished business" -- but hell, they can't all love you, right?
Well that may be true but you can certainly find yourself loving one of them. The romantic involvements available to Shepard provides some of the most hotly debated flavor choices in the game. So who's your fave squeeze? Who would you pursue if your choice weren't limited? Why do they make your heart pound?
| Doctor Chakwas | |
|---|---|
| Mess Sergeant Gardner | |
| Barla Von | |
| Avina | |
| The Illusive Man | |
| Joker's mom | |
| Someone else |
Reader Comments (Page 3 of 4)
Xury Apr 1st 2010 8:56AM
I love the Worldofwarcraft.com new "EPEEN" system. Nice to see they have a sense of humor with the whole gearscore fiasco.
Aaron Apr 1st 2010 9:00AM
Yep I lol'd hard.
Fraser Anderson Apr 1st 2010 8:56AM
If you cant do a good april fools joke, just dont bother.
jealouspirate Apr 1st 2010 9:08AM
WoW.com, the great Fraser Anderson has descended from on high and He has spoken. His verdict is final, all jokes must be stopped immediately.
If further attempts at humor are to be made, please contact Fraser Anderson for his approval prior to publishing. If this is not done, His wrath will descend upon the comments section, thereby slightly annoying us as we glance past them.
Lornicide Apr 1st 2010 9:00AM
ZOMG!
Shepard iz OP! Plz nerf !!!!1!1one!!
Wheels Apr 1st 2010 9:06AM
Has anyone checked out their armory page yet? That is full of win!
Trulyourtrageous Apr 1st 2010 9:13AM
About time this website started covering something interesting and, you know, actually good.
Thomas Prescott Apr 1st 2010 9:15AM
I would say Avina would be kinda difficult to do, but hilarious to watch.
Succulent Apr 1st 2010 9:15AM
Pick up line for Joker's mom?
"Hey baby, my leg bone sure isn't brittle, come 'ere"
Hoaxs Apr 1st 2010 9:20AM
Joker's mom has got it going on. It's all i want and i've waited so long. Joker can't you see, you're just no the guy for me.
Samuel Reese Apr 1st 2010 9:22AM
Oh geez, not another lame attempt at an Ap-*ASSUMING CONTROL*
@_@ My heart belongs to Wrex!
Killchrono Apr 1st 2010 11:23AM
I know right? Stupid internet trends and th-ASSUMING CONTROL!
THIS HURTS YOU!
IF I MUST TEAR YOU APART MYSELF, SHEPARD, I WILL!
vertigobliss86 Apr 1st 2010 9:27AM
I'd pick that scottish lass down in engineering
ElTaco Apr 1st 2010 10:06AM
Please tell me you aren't talkin bout Tali, the girl in the suit o.O
because that is not a scottish accent =P
Also im in love with her, them hips don't lie ;D
John Apr 1st 2010 12:13PM
http://masseffect.wikia.com/wiki/Gabriella_Daniels
Except she wasn't Scottish :-( Her friend Kenneth was.
Dave Apr 1st 2010 9:28AM
Given the chance? I already fucked Doctor Chakwas, she was super grateful that I found her the same kind of expensive liqour she lost on the original Normandy. Then I fucked Kelly, but I ended up with Miranda. That girl has an ass and titties like no other, and she's got the whole independent woman thing going, which is sexy.
Jyuu Apr 1st 2010 9:32AM
Classy.
Matt Apr 1st 2010 9:37AM
On behalf of the rest of the male population, I apologize.
Dave Apr 1st 2010 11:21AM
Apparently a little edgy flavor doesn't work for me.
But then again, why would I expect people to think I was joking, this is an April Fools thread.
Vry srs bsns.
Dave Apr 1st 2010 11:41AM
Fuck it, it was meant to be taken lightly, but even then, only the language was rough. You guys are just pussies.
If you would prefer:
I made love to Doctor Chakwas, after I found her favorite rare liquor, the very same kind she lost on the first Normandy. We got very intoxicated, and came on to me showing her appreciation. As her Captain it probably wasn't appropriate for me to spend the night with her, but my judgment was impaired. Then, I later wined and dined Kelly. We had a great time, spent the night together, but it didn't work out. After Kelly and I were through, I became romantically involved with Miranda, who has a beautiful body, and an independent streak that I really appreciate.